Payung emas untuk mommy....

Hi there! Nope.. sorry, no photos in this posting! Just wanted to share apa yg I went thru' yesterday & how it brings back some memories! Bored? stop reading then....

Well.. someone I knew lost her dear child, a 5 years old beautiful lil' girl! No doubt, she was indeed a very polite young girl & clever as well! There were no signs at all that she was suffering from any sickness or diseases. She fall sick on mon & lost her life the very next day....

To certain extend, I was kind of relief to know that she didn't suffer for too long...she's too small to take up such a 'challange '. But looking at the parents, especially the mom... I understood how hard it was to face reality! well..had you been in such situation -deep inside, u would hope that u were given more time to be together & keep the faith so that the one u love will recover soon!

That was what I felt 4 years back when doc told me that I've lost the baby that I had been carrying for the past 3 months. Though I only managed to carry my 2nd child for a brief trimester... the 'journey' was not easy for us. I was too weak but my baby was such a fighter! I hardly managed to keep any food that I took for more than 2 hours but yet, the fetus grew up day by day! Yupp... despite the constant throwin' up, tears, mood swings, etc.... the widest grin on jesse's face every time she saw the heartbeat on the screen during my regular check ups with the gynea - was enough to make me put my feet down & stay strong for the next 9 months!! Yeahh right! Courage alone is NOT enough, though! It's back to the qada' & qadar from Allah...

Anyway, I dun think that I'll able to tell my dear friend to 'be strong' now coz I've been thru' it! Losing someone u love unexpectedly.. is the 1 thing that your brain may not be able to 'digest' well within a month!! At the end of the day... where do 'strong' take you anyway???? Pretend to put up the 'I'm ok' look so that you dun send 'negative' energy to the people around you??? Ouchh...believe me beb, it hurts SO much to do that!

Apa2 pun, I'm grateful that Allah has given me 1 precious 'amanah' to be taken care of- my lil' sweet pumpkin- Misha. Insha Allah.. will try to be the mother that she'll be proud of, one day...

To my friend who had lost her lil' angel.. i pray to Allah that she finds the courage to walk thru' the emptiness- then leave it behind & never look back - but only when she's ready to do it! Treasure the memories but build up new hopes & dreams by keepin' the faith that we are all safe in the hands of Allah! Afterall, our lil' ones may be waiting for us with the 'payung emas' untuk mommy... Al-Fatihah....